What Kids Text About Now

So last night my phone was BLOWING UP.  I thought perhaps people were texting me a belated Happy 30.5 Birthday but that wasn’t the case.  A week and a half ago, Terry’s 10 year old niece, Hailey, sends this mass text to a group of people.  It basically says how if you died, the sender would enact some revenge, go to jail, we ride or die, send this to everyone in the universe, if you get it back you are loved, at 12:00 (noon or midnight not specified) the person you love will suddenly love you, if you don’t send it you will turn ugly in one year, if you get three back you will turn pretty.  Damn, the fate of my good looks rests in this text.
Note that the original text was sent a WEEK AND A HALF AGO but only was my phone going nuts last night.  And this is why:
Hailey: hi
Friend #1: do you really mean that we will die together
Friend #1: that is so sweet i love you as a sfam (sisters from another mother)  (Loses its meaning once you have to explain it)
Hailey: hahaha me to (Is it that hard to type out the extra “o”?)
Friend #1: that is the nicest thing any body has ever said to me (This depresses me)
Hailey: i said that to 10 other people (Straight up truth)
Friend #1: ok well i just read it so i haven’t sent it to any body yet plus your the coolest sfam in the world
Hailey: you too
Friend #1: so are you ready for eliches (amusement park) on fri
Hailey: yea
Friend #1: and have a amazing sleepover
[Then the culprit texted a pic of herself with some shiny string braids in her hair and painted nails; she looks like she can’t be a day over 5.  When do kids get phones now?!]
Friend #1: oh and do you like my nails
Hailey: super cool
Friend #2: hi
Friend #3: who’s this?
Friend #2: hey i sent that to u emily
Friend #2: who r u
Friend #3: armani (nobody is ever named that, at least not in Colorado… maybe Trevor or Travis)
Friend #2: i’m evie i think we met at haily’s church
Hailey: don’t use this group text any more (SALVATION)
Friend #2: k
Friend #1: some times  (Oh friend #1 is back; who’s question is she answering?)
I just want to be honest and say that I will be THAT parent, that parent that snoops and embarrasses.  Future, unborn children — get ready for some fun!  Actually I’m saving this blog entry for Hailey as well.  I may reference it in every birthday card from here on out.
What Kids Text About Now

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