I’ve been doing yoga for a little over 2 years but joined a new studio 6 months ago because we moved. This studio is on a different level. It’s 10x more intense than my previous one, all classes are heated, and sometimes it’s like a circus in there. People are literally walking on their hands. It’s a pretty tight-knit group (which I’m still figuring out how to break into which I’m guessing means the $2500 yoga retreat) but I’d like to point out some of those in this special group:
1.The Power Couple – Guy looks like he should be in an ’80s heart throb movie. Girl looks like she should be an ’80s aerobics instructor. They always sit front and center. Front is not only where the mirror is but it’s also where the room is the most hot. These two are the most envied of enviable but recently, they’ve being coming to classes separately. A breakup would devastate and possibly shut down the entire studio. Oh, and they only attend power classes in the evenings.
2. The Space Cadet – Person who is not aware of the space around them and/or has no concern for others’ space. This can include a) the person who tries to squeeze in between two mats that are only 1.5 feet apart, b) the person whose mat is so close to yours and who only moves when your sweat has gotten all over theirs (true story), and c) the yogi who does arm balances with their feet in your mouth.
3. The Grunter/Moaner – This includes a) guy who does so many handstands in vinyasa that he is grunting every other minute (and eventually falling over) and b) the girl who moans when exhaling.
4. The Class Favorite – All I hear is “_____, beautiful pose!” or “I’m going to teach you guys something but I know _____ has mastered it” or “Let me demonstrate on _______.” While she is very flexible, I don’t think she’s the best in class because I haven’t seen her do many arm balances. Somehow she just magically became the favorite.
5. The Hottie – Let me just say the majority of the people at my studio are fairly attractive but there’s one person who has the Barbie body AND has to wear the lowest cut sports bra made in mankind. She obviously ignores the support level rating on bra tags… A-cup support for her D’s are just fine.
Wait… do I want to be friends with these people?